Word of Advice...A Way to Mans Heart is His Stomach. Here Is Why.

 I’m going to go out on a limb here and may rub some people the wrong way. The cliché is true; the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. I see a lot of women running out here in the world (and I was one of them) wondering why they can’t find the one. We as women get so wrapped up in the superficial things like appearance; we forget this basic rule of thumb. I see some really sharp beautiful women wonder what one woman has over her. It’s probably that she cooks well and most importantly is not afraid of giving of herself, it’s that simple.A lot of those women couldn't be bothered with such mundane tasks, as cooking. I know some of people may feel I’m a doormat because it seems I’m always cooking and catering to Certain Someone. Au contraire, I’m hardly a door mat, I speak my mind, I work, I look out for me, and I expect to get nurtured back and spoiled in the same way I nurture Certain Someone. And I do. The reason I do what I do is because that’s what cooking and food is, nurturing and love. I choose to do it, no one forces me, and I have never been more centered.
 A few weeks ago there was a discussion I witnessed, between some people about mealtime and serving men. A lot of the women got all blistery about it and started in on a man can serve himself and can he cook the meal too for that matter.I love a man to cook for me but a few of us in the room were  thinking What’s the big deal about serving /feeding your man, if you choose to?There is nothing wrong or backwards with that choice either. My mother did it, my grandmother did it (and they were both working educated strong Black women). It’s not about submission, which I think is the wrong message most people see. It’s about nurturing, again. In this stressful world, I don’t care if you’re a millionaire or working class, one wants to come home to an environment that loving and peaceful. We all deserve to be nurtured. In order to be loved and nurtured we must be willing to give it too.
 Some people use sex as a weapon or lure, I use food. My first serious relationship was initiated through a package of homemade chocolate chip cookies by yours truly. It gets them most of the time. There have been some misses. I remember laying my sites on one prospect years ago, and setting out the finest china and linens at Auntie Mame's lake view condo. I made Veal Parmesan, a dessert of Grand Mariner marinated melon balls and ice cream. It was a big deal, to me anyway, after a bit of casual dating with said prospect. He came, he ate, he tickled the ivories (literally the Aunts baby grand not me) and he left, never really hearing from him again. I run that night through my head and feel I must have scared the crap out of him because the food was exceptional, or so I heard through various sources.Bottom line he wasn't worthy of that dinner from me, and he knew it. Certain Someone and I met over and bonded over our love of food and travel. I can say the first time I cooked for him, he was hooked. Certain Someone’s life is literally like the title of the film Up In the Air. After days working and with limited food options (some nice and not so nice, and many Business Class or First Class meals on airlines), he wants a home cooked meal. Just like Mama would make.
 I’m not a relationship expert, I just observe. And from what I see, there are a lot of women out there trying not to be forced into submission or controlled, and they equate cooking as part of that. Yet they seek relationships. They consider themselves free and liberal. I feel there is nothing more liberating and satisfying than giving cooking a try (not everyone is going to excel at it, but it’s the effort that matters) and removing that negative block and stigma. You would be surprised at what comes flowing into your life from such a loving activity.